Cynthia, 9:22 AM – Horrible week….NOT tracking is NOT a good plan. I don’t recommend "head" tracking….and, to think, I FELT thin last couple days. Gained 3.6! Soooooo angry at me!Her response was, "Well, shucks!!!! What made you not track??"
Hmmmmmm...........gonna have to think on that one a bit. And, think, I did. All day long........
Tracking.....hmmmmmmmmm...............
What made me not track??
.......................................................made me????
What made me not track??
Okay, I have repeated the question to myself about 40,408 times during the day today. And, guess what? NOTHING comes to my mind that made me not track.
NOTHING.......................
I'd have to say, NOTHING made me not track.
UUuuggghhhhhhhhhhhhh............... I just choose not to track.......properly. That's pretty hard to admit. I tracked a some meals here and there throughout the week.
Okay, so why would I track some meals and not others??
This gets ugly at this point. And, is fairly easy to answer as I think back over my week. The meals that I choose not to track were meals that were "not WW pretty." There, I said it. I had gained the last couple of weeks, this week now makes three weeks of gaining........and as I look back over my tracker, or lack thereof this week, I see that I have gotten pretty off base with my eating. I have pushed the "point-envelope" too far too many times. I have gotten lazy with my meal planning. And, this week was the worse. The other two weeks, weren't so bad, but this week......well, let's just say this week is gone and that's a good thing!!!!
Why have I done this? I'm tired and weary of the battle. Am I ready to give up?? I say resoundingly, NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
"NO, don't you stop!!!" Yep, that what I'm hearing in my head, loudly, I might add.
I am not ready to give up and I WILL NOT GIVE UP!!!!! I WILL NOT STOP!!!!
Why?? Why is not stopping going to be my choice?? Because, it's the right choice. It is the only option that I have. Really. It is the only choice I have.
I am enjoying my "new" life too much. I am enjoying my water aerobics classes. I am enjoying not having to use my walking stick. I am enjoying being able to do a little bit of shopping in stores that do not have the electric scooters. I am enjoying NOT taking blood pressure meds. I am enjoying trying new things, like Zumba.
Soooooooooooo, what now??
Where do I go from here?
That's easy..............back to the basics!!
Back to weighing and measuring my food. Back to cooking and eating out of my own pots and pans. Back to tracking everything that enters my mouth. Back to making sure I get all of the GHGs every day!!!I did it several weeks ago and removed almost 6 pounds that week. I can certainly do it again.
This is NOT rocket-science. This is basic stuff.
I can do this.
I've got this!!!!!
I know what to do............so, now I'm gonna make the choice to do it!! Yep, that my choice and I'm sticking to it!!!!!
After all, the choice IS mine!!! There is it..............a clean page.
But not tonight............tonight, that page won't be clean. And, that's MY CHOICE!!!
6 comments:
I just got back from the doctor's office: Seems this one really STEPPED ON MY TOES!!! lol I have just experienced the same thing. Tracking starts out "fun" at first ... like the first day of school. It's exciting and filled with anticipation of the new year (and in our cases, of "the new us") that we can almost FEEL and almost SEE again! So they WHY (I tend to ask "why" instead of "what") do I stop doing what was working and go off on my own? I know I tend to find certain foods that I like and repeat them... a LOT. So then, I start getting complacent. I start thinking I know JUST WHAT 4 ounces looks like. My scales broke and I wanted to buy a new one, just wasn't finding one locally that I didn't need to order. So I just start being VERY careful and s-l-o-w-l-y I start going faster and not as carefully as I should have. At first it was fine.... by the end of the week, I am sure I was getting sloppy. By the time my birthday rolled around - It was almost as if I had given myself a REASON to "oh go ahead" (eat what you want). Something came up that I have to handle which will require me to be a little confrontational and I could feel the tightness grow in my heart and stomach as I thought about it.... and I at "off plan" just a little. And then my cousin's husband died. I got sloppier.. and actually CHOSE to eat junk. Not tons. Not like I am capable of. But I know I will have gained tomorrow.
So yes, I understand.
It's interesting:
You ask, "What made me...."
and I ask, "Why did I...."
But the bottom line is what you said... Choice. God gives us free will... choice. I confess I have sometimes asked God to remove that free choice in that area. But he hasn't. Why? Could it be my "thorn in my flesh"? More than not, God is using it to make sure I lean on Him. I will always be complacent at some point. I will probably always "lean" towards wanting to eat things I truly have NO reason eating. I FEEL HAPPINESS when I am eating things I shouldn't WANT in my body.
That is the next thing I am going to try to understand.
But in the meantime. We have to remember that it is almost like when we were little girls. Our parents would tell us "STOP!" (when we were about to walk into danger. We were to simply obey. Not really HAVE to understand WHY we had to stop.... we just were to OBEY, STOP and walk in OBEDIENCE.
So then.... today, I choose to do just that.
Thanks for the great "toe-smashing, thought-provoking" post today!
- Jan
LOL OK at first it said it could not post my comment, so I put a note in that I would post again in two posts... which I did. Then when THOSE showed up.... the first one did as well, in it's entirety! Go figure. So I deleted the "explanation" and the two sep. posts. LOL THUS the three "This post has been removed by the author". ... I didn't want anyone to think I wrote something I regretted and then removed. LOL LOL LOL
WOW!! I saw 5 comments. LOL!!! Glad you explained the three "This post has been removed by the author" posts. You KNOW I would have wondered...........and, yes, you know I would have chucked, no, probably LAUGHED and said, "Jan, what are you doing?????"
Jan, I would also ask "why" instead of "what." That's probably the reason I couldn't respond to the "what" question immediately. So, I had to think.........
It continues to amaze me how my trainer just seems to "know" when to ask a question and what word to use to cause me to contemplate the issue rather than "spit an answer back." I thank God for her, often. He has definitely stretched (and shrunk) me through her.
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