Okkkkkkkk..........here we are AGAIN!!!!

Well, well, well............here we are.

It is March 27th and my annual March meetings are behind me. Lots and lots of hours have been spent at the office the past 4-5 weeks and our meetings were this past weekend. I have had two days off to get some much needed rest and refocus.

So, what now?

Do I continue down this path of gaining weight or do I get myself back on track and do what it takes to get myself in better shape?

The answer is simple.................it's the working out of that answer that's the difficult part.

NO, I do not continue down this path of gaining weight. I am not happy where I have gotten again. Walking is very difficult again and standing for any length of time is next to impossible. Yet again, I can no longer shop in stores where there are no electric scooters. I wasn't able to do much shopping without those electric scooters, but I was able to do some and it was really freeing. But, I'm back to scooter only shopping.

YES, I do whatever it takes to get myself in better shape and take back my life that I was beginning to enjoy again.

Reality is that I have regained most of the weight that I had lost. I haven’t been to class since mid-February. Only a couple of those weeks did I have good reasons for not going. At last weigh-in, I was less than 25 pounds from gaining it all back. I’ve been eating way too much chocolate, fried chicken, fried chicken sandwiches, French fries, and ice cream these past 3-4 weeks. It will not be pretty on Saturday.

I have a doctor’s appointment this week. I pray that I won’t have to go back on BP meds. I also pray that I won’t be officially diagnosed diabetic.

WHY do I do this to myself? WHY????????

Why do I make the choices that I make knowing the results that I will get? I was feeling so wonderful. I was feeling so free. I was feeling involved in life again.

So, what happened that reversed that journey and spiraled out of control to cause me to be where I am today?

I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you because I don’t understand it myself. My routine changed and I didn’t handle it well. So, what else is new?

Routines change. Life happens. I must learn not to let changing routines and life happening around me to derail me.

I must take responsibility for my own actions regardless of changing routines and life happenings. I cannot, simply cannot, allow things around me to derail me, to cause me to lose my focus.

So, here I go…………….beginning again. I can do this!!! I can make choices that will lead to a lighter tomorrow. I can make choices that will lead to a healthier tomorrow. I can make choices that will lead to better mobility.

I can do this thing!!!! I can put behind me what has happened. Today is a new day. Today I begin again!! I will choose to leave my past failure behind me and move on.