April, 2010 -- Sometimes the scales seem to be moving downward so slowly, then other times, they seem to be moving sooooooooooooo slowly. LOL!
April was exciting as I finally reached my 10% goal. April was filled with several conversations with my trainer about putting down my stick (walking stick). April was filled also with a huge choice. Not necessarily a choice that I realized I was going to make or needed to make, but nevertheless, a choice indeed. Here is how I worded it in an ecard to my trainer: Last week as I faced my second week gaining, I heard that little voice in my head "NO....DON'T YOU STOP!!" Today, I heard "you've got this." Cathy, as I stood on those scales today and reached my 10% goal, I thought about all the times you've pushed me past my point of giving up on the overhead presses (those things nearly "kill" me!!). "You've got this!" I DID IT!!
EXCITING CHOICE: I am choosing to NOT stop, to NOT give up when I have gained for the second time after doing everything right--proper/healthy points and exercise.
What I haven't shared with you at this point about the "no....don't you stop" statement is that a few weeks into working with my trainer, I was struggling so much with the overhead presses. I stopped jumping before the time was up. My trainer very loudly "encouraged" me with the words "NO......DON'T YOU STOP!!!" My eyes popped open (I do those things with my eyes shut to keep the water out and to not cry from the exhaustion.) and I looked at her. Where did that come from??? It scared me. But, I didn't stop..........and, I survived those dreadful overhead presses.
April 24, 2010 -- Seems it’s been a long time coming, but I have finally lost my first 10% goal as of this past Saturday—40.2 pounds total lost. The last couple of times I did WW, I lost it a bit faster……….which has kept me a wee bit frustrated. However, I have never, I repeat, NEVER done WW (or any diet for that matter) along with exercise. I have not struggled so much with discouragement--disappointment, yes; but not discouragement. I can’t be discouraged when I am feeling sooooooooooo much better. This past week, I have walked several times without my stick during times when I normally would have been walking with it. For the most part, I am now walking virtually pain-free. My chiropractor has noticed muscle improvements as my shoulders don’t “pop out” like they used to.
Only the people who know I’m working at losing weight have actually commented on it………at least, commented personally to me. I still am not telling people what I'm doing. If they find out, that's okay. I'm just not talking about it. I haven't even told my family yet. On Easter weekend, my niece and sister noticed but very carefully inquired about what I was doing. At this point, my Mom hasn’t said anything, but one of the workers where she lives asked her how much I had lost. I didn’t see the worker, but apparently she saw me when I was there Easter weekend and she said something to Mom. Mom did notice and said something the next time she saw me. (Picture was taken December 2006 of Mom, me in the back center, my sister and my niece.)
My journey has only begun, but it HAS begun. CHOICE: I'm sooooooo thankful for the prayer my friend prayed over me on December 8th and that I made the choice on December 12th to rejoin WW and to begin working with a personal trainer. The choice is joyfully mine!!
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